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SQL Server SWAG Smackdown

This isn't a technical topic at all.  It's just sort of a quick and funny topic that hit me on a whim.

I'd hit one of those moments today when I couldn't get any more work done because I was way to fed up with the messiness of my office.  It was time for me to take stock of all the stacks of paper, notes, and other junk that'd built up since the last time I'd done a major house cleaning.  As I was triaging the various accretions of the last few months, I started coming across some unusual and interesting tchotchkies and doodads all related to SQL Server that I'd picked up at various events and conferences.  As often happens when I'm cleaning things up, I got onto a tangent of cataloging all the SQL Server stuff I've accumulated over the years.

I'm certain that this is a CHALLENGE that I'm gonna lose, but I'm THROWIN' DOWN THE GAUNTLET to see what other MVP, writer, or SQL Server enthusiast out there can OUT DO MY LOAD O'SWAG?!?

Here are the rules:

a. It has to be official SQL Server stuff from the US or an international subsidiary.

b. It has to be free SWAG - none of the custom-ordered stuff from the Microsoft store or a conference store.

c. It can't be from a special, non-specific program like the MCP, MVP, or other "not Microsoft" organizations like PASS, Ineta, Culminis, SQLMag, SSWUG, SQL Server Central, SQLTeam, etc.  (This kills me because I've got dozens of shirts & swag between all of these sources, my favorite of which is the "99.999% Uptime Boxer Shorts" from SQL Server Magazine.)

d. And just 'cuz I'm making up the rules, you cannot work for Microsoft now or in the past, since you'd have access to all kinds of goodies that us mere mortals cannot touch.  I'm also inclined to exclude consultants who work directly for Microsoft on the SQL Server team (sorry, Kimberly, Kalen, Ron, et al...), but you're ok if you work for them through a partnership deal at a customer site.

So here's my inventory - and the first volley in this smackdown:

  1. 1 SQL Server wristwatch (Thank you Microsoft Singapore!)
  2. 1 pair of SQL Server flipflops (TechEd '05)
  3. 1 SQL Server denim long-sleeve shirt (can't remember but prolly TechEd '02-'04)
  4. 1 SQL Server God-awful Hawaian shirt (not the PASS shirt either, for those of you who've seen that one)
  5. 6 SQL Server polo shirts  (my favorites were given to me by Pete Petisch at the release of SQL Server 6.0 and by Marc Souza prior to the SQL Server 7.0 airlift).  I probably have owned more, but I recently purge all of my XL's because they're way too big for me these days.
  6. 1 SQL Server BI polo shirt with the snazzy chrome bar on the sleeve (big thanks to Angie O'Hara at the TechEd '06)
  7. 1 SQL Server girl action figure (acquired for me by Rick Heiges at TechEd '06, thanks dude!)
  8. 10 buttons from various TechEd's saying something like "Ask Me About SQL Server" or "Ask Me About Transact-SQL"

OK, so it's not quite as impressive a haul as I initially thought.  I'm sure that there are at least a few other packrats out there who've outdone me by a long shot.  Let's hear your inventory!  And even if you've only gotten one or two goodies, I want to hear about them - especially if they're weird...  like the rubber-chicken someone gave me at the PASS 2005 Summit.  Top that!



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