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Fun with Headlines, CES 2008 Special Edition

And you thought I just ripped on Apple.

Microsoft Unveils New Titles and Powerful Momentum for Games for Windows
Where "powerful momentum" equates to console retreads, apparently.

Xbox LIVE announces 10-Million members
Seriously, at least 17 or 18 of them are using the paid Gold version.

Microsoft Furious At Your Ridiculous HD-DVD-In-A-360 Chatter
Furious because they're probably looking at Blu-Ray now, like everyone else.

Toshiba says HD DVD has not lost out to Blu-ray
Company also points to new evidence suggesting that the world is indeed flat.

Napster to sell music as MP3 files
Yet another innovation from the market leader.

Man Shoots Son Over Xbox 360 Argument
Yet another example of Achievements related violence.

WGA signs deal with United Artists
No, not that WGA.

Microsoft admits Office 2003 'mistake'
We should have just gone straight to Office 2007.

What do Xbox Live problems say about Microsoft’s back-end infrastructure?
The same thing Zune Social says about it: It's a joke.

Windows Mobile 7 to incorporate touch, gesture recognition
And Windows Mobile 8 to "rival original iPhone." In 2010.

Hitachi to phase out small hard drives
Apparently size does matter.

CES: New applications to surface for Microsoft Surface
Now if only the Surface would, uh, surface, we'd have a real product to talk about.

CES Goes Green
When I think energy efficiency, I often think of Las Vegas.

Apple Mac enjoys 27% market share — among tech reporters
Actually, that's usage share, but whatever. Just move that decimal point over one place and you'll see their real-world usage share.

Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang Stakes Out Web Strategy At CES
Yahoo's still around? Neat!

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