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Friday Fun: Zombie Apocalypses, Smartphone Addiction, and the Answer to World Peace

Well, Microsoft TechEd 2011 down in Atlanta is over. Apparently we've got some sort of rapture or other on tap for the upcoming weekend. And if that's not enough to worry about, the CDC is now warning people toprepare for a zombie apocalypse. That's right, the CDC: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, an official organization of the US government. This is even bigger than that time the US Postal Service was used to prove the existence of Santa Claus.

Wait a minute. That was a movie.

My life has become a movie—is that it? I'm going with that theory for the moment. And as long as I am, and the world could end this weekend anyway, I might as well spill my latest crazy idea for ending all hate and wars and terrorism and creating world peace. It's a really simple plan, and yet radical at the same time. Here it is: Give every person on earth a smartphone with an unlimited data plan. You see, everyone will be so busy texting, browsing, and playing Angry Birds that no one will have time to plan bombings or worry about where national borders are.

I say it's doable. Of course, it might also be a big step down that road to zombie apocalypse, as we see our brains all turned to mush. Still, it's worth a try: Who's with me? Judging by the latest Twitter tweets I've collected on the theme of smartphone addiction, it seems we might be well on our way. Here's a sample, with commentary as usual:

Not just for the #SmartphoneAddict anymore RT @RovioMobile: Go get Angry Birds from chrome webstore and let us know what you think. It's free!
    That's right, they're branching out. I suspect, though, this really is some sort of plot to drive more people into getting smartphones. I haven't worked out all the details yet.

Oh yeah, I'm right there with you. RT @spjablonski: Tweeting doesn't even feel natural to me from a computer. #smartphoneaddict
    Can't remember the last time I sent a tweet from my PC—it's the Droid or nothing. And for those who are interested in such things, my Twitter client preference is for TweetCaster by Handmark.

@Sandryn_LV: J'ai du mal a tweeter sur mon ordinateur ... #SmartphoneAddict
    I always so enjoy finding smartphone addicts in non-English tweets. You see, it's an indication that my plan for world peace really has a shot—this thing doesn't care about borders. And for those who don't speak French, this tweet basically is a restatement of the previsou one: "I have difficulty a tweeter on my computer."

Lol! Someone just doesn't know how to use their blue birds! RT @jperlow: OH: "You're as useless as a blue Angry Bird"
    In both subtle and less subtle ways, the nation of Angry Birds begins to invade all things.

Yes, guilty. RT @thegadgetmom: What, doesn't everyone carry 2 phones a laptop and a tablet on their camping trips? #quitstaringatme
    And admitting you have a problem is the first step in recovery. That is, if you can see it as an actual problem. I always figure, hey, if there's room in the truck alongside the tent, sleeping bags, and all the rest of the camping gear, why not bring the consumer electronics? Of course, it has truly changed the experience of camping, but that's another story.

Everyone becomes a #SmartphoneAddict RT @jeffjames3: #msteched PC era in decline? More smartphones than PCs shipped in 2011
    It has begun.

#SmartphoneAddict RT @scevans: I can tell how good my day is by how quickly the battery on my phone is being used. 11am & ~50% == Bad Day
    This is an all too common yardstick by which we, the addicted, parcel out our days. And it might point to a flaw in the world peace plan; I mean, I'd hate to see the riots start when everyone's battery ran down at once. *shudder*

Hide your green pigs! RT @ZacWiggy: There are birds in the #msteched exhibit hall rafters. They're sneaky, haven't got a photo of them yet.
   Yes, that's where my first thought went. I picture birds swooping down on exhibitors, knocking over their carefully built booths and displays, trapping booth babes and innocent attendees in the rubble. Chaos! Sweet, hilarious chaos!

That's all for today. Except I remembered one other thing to worry about—at least, if you're the purveyors of Windows Phone 7: Angry Birds for that platform has been delayed until June 29. Sorry, folks, we'll have to wait just a little longer for the WP7 traction to begin. In the meantime, take a look below at the promo vid for Angry Birds. And think about world peace.

Follow B. K. Winstead on Twitter at @bkwins
Follow Windows IT Pro on Twitter at @windowsitpro

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