Which Classic IT Monster Are You?

Which Classic IT Monster Are You?

It's that time of year again and in the run up to the Halloween season it's always hard for me not to reflect on classic movie monsters and crave watching the originals. You may not be as huge a huge fan of the originals as I am, but, I ask you: is there anything better than the classics? Frankenstein, Dracula, and The Wolfman incited imagination and solicited fear and dread without blood, gore, and exorbitant and unnecessary special effects.

Hollywood has dressed them up, exploited CGI, and transformed them into monolithic creations over the years. It's almost sacrilege to me to watch my beloved favorites dramatized in 90210 fashion, turning them into teen love stories. It goes back to the adage of: "just because you can do something, should you?"

I live in the IT world, and as some of you know from reading my articles, I can relate just about anything TV or movie related to technology. It's a recognized gift. So, for the Halloween season, let's see if I can help fit you into your own special category of Classic IT Monster – all without the special effects and dependency on a love story.

The Frankenstein IT Pro

Frankenstein, or the original Mary Shelley title, The Modern Prometheus, is about a scientist who figured out how to create life by piecing together estranged body parts from various corpses and then infusing them with electrical current supplied by lightning. As a fast fact, Frankenstein was never the name of the created beast, though it's been attributed to it ever since. Frankenstein was the name of the scientist and in the original book, published in 1818, the creature was only referred to as Frankenstein's monster among other nomenclatures such as creature, fiend, wretch, monster, and others.

When you consider how Frankenstein's monster was created, you could get the notion that you might fall under this category. The Frankenstein IT Pro works with a mishmash of pieces and parts to create business solutions.  The server room probably looks like a spaghetti explosion with network cables connected in dark corners, but the Frankenstein IT Pro is able to create life out of almost anything – and nothing. Sometimes considered a "monster" by end-users because of communicative grunts instead of flashes of smiles, the Frankenstein IT Pro shows his/her affection by saving the company budget money through creative embellishments.

The Dracula IT Pro

Dracula, of course, is that fanged, blood-sucking, undead monster-in-human-form first unveiled in the 1897 novel of the same name by Bram Stoker. To me, Dracula represents the leader in this classic monster group, offering both a compelling and memorable storyline and a fiend that is truly hard to kill. In an effort to evolve the legend and enhance the storyline, special tools and techniques were required to kill the vampire, but in the original story, Dracula's reign of terror was ended by a blade across the throat and in the heart. No wooden stake needed. One of the more humorous weaknesses attributed to Dracula came in the 1970's when horror legend Christopher Lee played Dracula, suggesting that vampires cannot cross running water such as streams or rivers, making a simple garden hose an effective weapon. Still, for the gift of immortality, I could shy away from running water for a while – or at least until my wife forced me to shower.

If only immortality were the primary attribute for the Dracula IT Pro. The Dracula IT Pro works countless weekends and endless nights, and seems to never sleep due to the rigors of the job. The Dracula IT Pro is always there. The first one everyone sees when they roll in each morning, and the last one to bid adieu as the work day ends. Tireless. Effective. Throw the Dracula IT Pro a pizza and soda and he/she could survive in the server room for days on end never craving the warmth of sunlight or the touch of a warm hand.

The Wolfman IT Pro

The classic movie monster, The Wolfman, is that half-wolf, half-man creature created as the result of a gypsy's curse. The shape shifting Larry Talbot is bitten by a werewolf while trying to protect a fair maiden. Once bitten, the curse is passed on and Talbot begins his own life as a creature of the night, ravaging the local village until he's bludgeoned to death by a silver walking stick (not a silver bullet). Here's a fast fact for you. Did you know there were three major Universal monsters that were born solely through movie scripts and never had a literary source? Those were The Wolfman, The Mummy, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon. So out of the three top original, classic movie monsters (Frankenstein, Dracula, and The Wolfman), The Wolfman is the only one written specifically for the silver screen.

The Wolfman IT Pro is fully comfortable in two different forms. Catering effectively to the needs of the business and management, while also able to balance the requests of the populace, this classic IT monster seems to lead a double-life and both are equally important.

Tortured by day by the cubicle villagers trying to beat down the server room door to be the first request in line for the day, and then subsequently hammered at night fulfilling those demands, you'd think the Wolfman IT Pro would snap and go on a rampage of epic proportions. But, while he/she is a beast in the server room after hours, he/she is a calm, collected and organized IT citizen by day. However, catch The Wolfman IT Pro in the server room at night, and you'll hear all sorts of grunts and howls, most of which are lobbied directly at those pitchfork wielding business users from earlier in the day.


So, based on my characterizations of the classic movie monsters, can you see where you might fit in? Is there a specific area you conform with, or know someone that does?

Happy Halloween!

Hide comments


  • Allowed HTML tags: <em> <strong> <blockquote> <br> <p>

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.